• Sophia Laam

4 Steps to turn Fear & Helplessness into Pride of Achievement

Updated: May 31

Progressing the past month' loss of everyday routine, people to meet, places to visit, sense of security & control, the hugs of loved ones outside your home; while preparing to upcoming changes of returning to normal + building a new normal at the same time creates dozens of reasons to feel helpless, overwhelmed, fear and without drive.

What can you do to regain power, when these emotions burden you down?

1. Give yourself permission

Allow yourself to feel whatever fills you. It is okay to feel down, scared, tired, worried etc. There are moments or periods, when a pile of difficult emotions clutter your inner peace.

Instead of criticizing or diminishing yourself, acknowledge these feelings and accept their emergence.


2. Communicate

When we are afraid - whether from an actual or perceived threat -, we tend to fight, flight, freeze or flock. During the past weeks, with limited or no options to run & hide anywhere, or hang out with our usual social group for emotional support, letting those around us know, how we feel, became even more important, than before. Sometimes sharing information ("honey, I don't feel for talking to anyone for two hours"), a kind request ("please put the kids to bed tonight") or offering a quick choice ("which would work better with you, if I'd take a nap right now, or you'd get up for the baby tonight?") is sufficient.

Spare your loved ones the second guessing (nobody can read your mind anyway), and yourself the added stress of explanation, justification or guilt. Share what you need.


3. Set a time frame

Feeling helpless, worn out or threatened often pairs up with self-pity.

Have you recently caught yourself feeling sorry for "poor little you"? As said in step 1., it is okay. We all feel down & sorry for ourselves from time to time. Instead of victimizing, thus blocking ourselves for too long however, which only leads to a downward spiral, give yourself a set time frame to feel this way. Embrace "poor little you" for a coffee break, cuddle up together for an episode, comfort yourself for an evening - and at the end of set time let it go.

This might be the hardest part, but step 4. tells you how.


4. Change one tiny thing around you

When the set time of feeling down ticked off, change your position and look around you. What could you change for the better, right there & then? Maybe you could make the bed. Wash your hair. Dust the bookshelf. Pick up the tissues from the floor. Empty the trashcan. Clean a drawer.

We may not have a lot of control over what happens in the world, but we do have control over sweeping the floor, washing the window or organizing our cabinet. And more than that, we have control over our habits and routines. Maybe we don't really care to make the bed in the mornings, drink two liters of water a day, say thanks after dinner, or put down the phone, when our kid asks us to listen - but it does not mean, we do not have control over our choice the next time. A good chunk of our day, of our life, is run on auto pilot, based on habits & routines. What if the next time you feel down, you'd look around and change one tiny thing for the better? You may not be able to change lots of things, but it is no excuse for not changing what you can.

While these steps may not solve the root cause of your problem, they can certainly help you turn difficult emotions into constructive actions, and fill you with a new sort of achievement.

Would you like support in this transformation? Contact for mapping your needs and finding the best way for me to help you.

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